Memorial Day Weekend in LA

Well, I spent Memorial Day weekend in LA and, overall, I had a great time.  It was a very emotional weekend and proved that I am continually learning more and more about myself every day.  The biggest thing I learned is that I still have a lot of insecurities and fears that I allow to hold me back.  I am constantly begging God to mold me into the man He wants me to be…but now I realize that I AM that man and I just have to continue walking in His love.  **** and I had a discussion that truly brought closure to our together/but not together/in a relationship/but not in a relationship situation.  I think we both finally realized that I love him a lot more than he loves me.  Or rather, I am madly in love with him and he simply has love for me.  Without a doubt, it hurts like a bitch.  But, as in all things, God will get the glory.  And for every struggle and every pain, God is creating a greater testimony for the life that I am living.

~Lorenz

Our Lives Are Not Our Own [That's Life!]

More and more, God is helping me to understand the nature of His love.  Don’t get me wrong, I know that it is impossible to ever fully comprehend any aspect of the Lord while being on this Earth; however, God gives us just enough to get us through.  He allows us to experience and see things that ignite our spirit and pull us closer into alignment with who He is and how He operates.  God is love, and love is something we should all strive to show and embody every day that we live.  God’s love is the one true thing that unites us; everything else forges temporary bonds of convenience at best.  Through God’s love, we are meant to serve as living testimonies to the power of His name.  We all go through life and encounter hard times, but it is through the sharing of our experiences that God gets the glory.  If God has proven himself victorious in our life, what good are we to the kingdom if we keep it to ourselves?  God is calling each of us to stand up and proclaim all that He has done, is doing, and will do in our lives.  I know that for me, I tend to close off the world around me, retreating within myself.  I allow my insecurities to tell me that no one cares.  I bury the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly all within myself for fear that if I speak up no one will listen.  And that is where the enemy sinks in his teeth and refuses to let go.  If we can be convinced of our isolation and confined to our solitude, the enemy can divide and conquer.  But if we take the time to open ourselves up, not only will we share in one another’s pain, but also we will share in one another’s joy.  Your voice and your story may present the keys to someone else finding freedom in their own life.  Our lives are not our own.  We are meant to be tangible reflections of God’s love.

A few months back I created a vision board to help visualize some of the things I valued most in my life.  Looking at it now, I still think it is an awesome reflection of who I am and who I seek to be.  However, I looked at it the other day and realized that there is no explicit expression of God or faith represented.  It is great to have goals, wants, and desires for our lives...but God must always be our first priority.  Above and beyond anything in that picture, I want my life to be a reflection of God's love working inside me each and every day.

~Lorenz